REC · 2026 VAR REVIEW
REF-CAM
Card anyone. Officially.
The ref at the Azteca explained a red card in flawless FIFA English and nobody understood a word. So now you can do it to your mates. Type who, type what they did in plain words, pick the colour — we'll read it back as a proper World Cup VAR verdict, plus what the stadium actually heard. Drop the card in the group chat. No caption needed; the card is the joke.
STRAIGHT RED
DAVE FROM ACCOUNTS
SERIOUS FOUL PLAY
FOLLOWING A REVIEW OF THE ON-FIELD DECISION, A STRAIGHT RED CARD IS ISSUED TO DAVE FROM ACCOUNTS. SERIOUS FOUL PLAY: THE FISH IS DIRECTED INTO THE COMMUNAL MICROWAVE. DECISION: DIRECT FREE KICK, RED CARD.
fllwng a rvw… DV… th fsh… mmf… mcrwve… dcsn… rd.
REVIEW REF: KITCHEN-07 · INCIDENT: 84'
DENYING AN OBVIOUS GOAL-SCORING OPPORTUNITY (DOGSO)
AFTER A REVIEW, JORDAN IS SHOWN A RED CARD FOR DENYING THE TABLE AN OBVIOUS ROUND-BUYING OPPORTUNITY ON FOUR CONSECUTIVE OCCASIONS. DECISION: RED CARD, DOWN THE TUNNEL.
[PA CRACKLES] …JRD… [REF-CAM STATIC] …his round… [unintelligible] …off you go, son.
REVIEW REF: BAR-TAB-11 · INCIDENT: 78'
UNSPORTING BEHAVIOUR
FOLLOWING A REVIEW, A CAUTION IS ISSUED TO MY FLATMATE FOR PERSISTENT UNSPORTING BEHAVIOUR: LEAVING ONE WASHING-UP BOWL TO STAND FOR ELEVEN DAYS. A SECOND SUCH OFFENCE WILL RESULT IN A SECOND YELLOW.
caushn… flatmt… th bowl… elvn… nxt tym s a scnd yllw.
REVIEW REF: SINK-09 · INCIDENT: 55'
ISSUE A CARD